~ Insights into Tibetan Buddhism from a Western Woman's Perspective
from the DruidCast deck
Blessed be for your adornment
Just a short note to you, dear girl. You know this is all a fantasy that you
are allowing yourself to believe. As if an artist painting a picture, you
make broad strokes and tiny touches of color on canvas and make it
your single world only within the frame, bounded by fear of stepping
out of bounds. What is there? Why are you so afraid? Your life simply
IS, as Nan said . . . it just IS. Orphaned are you from the sad creatures in
this lifetime who had a moment of bliss, and that was you, beginning.
That moment of bliss that exists forever and is gone forever . . . is you.
Mother and father exulted and moved on. Orphaned Bliss is your name.
And every seeming concretizing moment remains and grows to crust
you, Orphaned Bliss, as you fear the change that never changes. Be
washed and soften, rinse your fearful armor to fallen leaves that
dissolve to mist. Let them all fall off and mistify. I tell you this
because the crust was never there. Only your fear formed them, and
fear is a secondary mental factor that is not.
Moment. Now. The flow has no impediments. All is the same flow.
R. is now on a plane returning from Amsterdam. Happy and wise in
pain. His life falling forward as mine, into death and beyond. And he
has fear as do all sentient beings. Your initial not-knowing, o Orphaned
Bliss, is a handicap from your previous life. And this time around, you
are alone, finally. Finally the opportunity to wrestle that handicap
without disruption. But you try and try, only to get glimpses of the
Understanding that is real love, Bodhicitta. It is good that you have
persevered for many years, however shabbily. Are nuns shabby in their
practice? It would be good if you had daily encounters with other
striving practitioners whose path is your path–a leisurely imprinting
on your mindstream pushed forward by others’ truths.
Leave others to their seeking. You cannot seek for them or force them
to seek for that which is alive under your ignorance, your handicap.
Orphaned Bliss, remember your name! Then stop there in your
remembering, that a concretized past contains pain, till it is no more,
and never was.